Oh, de Toilet and other Smelly Adventures in Lording the Land

 Being a landlord  hasn't been too terribly painful these past two years.  Every once in a while though, it sucks pretty bad. Like lately.

The highlight of our weekend was buying and installing a new toilet.  Well, honestly Dan did the installing mostly.  I stood around and handed him the screwdriver for that part.  But I WAS highly involved in the buying process. I vetoed the toilet with the non-slamming lid, and  I did the check writing.

Never in my life have I owned a brand new toilet.   Unless you count the one in the house we moved into when I was five, which I do not, because number 1, (no pun intended) I don't remember the toilet and number 2, (again, no pun intended),  my parents owned it not me.  But oh, happy day, now I AM the proud owner of a brand spanking new toilet.  Only too bad for me, it's in the Logan house, and with any luck, I  will use it about 4 times a decade.  So here I am, still stuck with a used toilet in my own house,  while my future renters will never know or appreciate the blood, sweat and screwdrivers  that went into getting that new toilet in for them.

The old toilet up there was 50 years old, so no hard feelings there, but now that we have had a chance to get in and see what kind of shape the renters left our house in, I have a whole list of items that I am feeling very vindictive over.  Where to begin?

- Not one, not two, but THREE cats in what was supposed to be a no-cat house.  They also forgot to mention the flying squirrel that lived there, cage free.  And boy oh boy, can we ever smell those cats. Three dogs too, as evidenced by the piles and piles of dog crap they left in the back yard.

-My custom made blind in the living room is gone.  Gone! Vamoosed! What really kills me is when the renters were moving in, they were so careful to note that there were four bent slats on the bottom of that blind.   They didn't want to get blamed for ruining the blinds.  HAH. Did they think we just wouldn't miss it if they took it down? There are also four or five other blinds in the bedrooms that have disappeared, but they were the cheap ones from Walmart that I was not emotionally involved with.

-The two garbage cans and two big garbage bags we filled up with weeds.  The 4 ft tall weeds in the garden.  The dead, unwatered lawn.  And here is my biggest peeve, and also a source of my headache: they did nothing to maintain the yard. They didn't water or pull one weed.  They did however find the time to mutilate and hack away at these perfectly good, alive, blooming bushes I had in the front and the back yards.   Who does that?  Who cuts down somebody else's bushes?  And if you were out there cutting down bushes, mightn't you notice that the lawn needed a little water?  And maybe you could have bent over and picked up your dog crap while you were out there? I am just befuddled.

And now, just to end things on a positive note,   the house, other than the smell, is in relatively good condition, and clean. They replaced all the old nasty windows with new double paned ones, and did a nice job.  They did a few other upgrades to the house that we like as well- a couple of new faucets and a fan in the bathroom.

We are headed back up there again tomorrow.  A little more yard work, a little more cleaning, and we can once again begin the search for the perfect renter.  Unless we decide to sell it, take our money and run. Or burn it to the ground and collect the insurance money.  Or let Alisa live there forever.  So many possibilities, so little house.