The Hinges of Destiny

Ugh.

Yikes.

I need emergency chocolate.

I just made a decision, and I HATE  making decisions.  This one has been hanging over my head for a month now.  

I just sent an email resigning from teaching at Stevens Henager.

I was scheduled to start up another class the end of April, and I have been going crazy with talking myself into and out of teaching again.

On the one hand is the extra money, and a trip to France next year to visit Alisa, which is something I REALLY want to do.

And the class only runs four weeks this time, not eight.

On the other hand is everything that fell by the wayside when I was teaching. Like family time, and homework, and church activities and other school issues. The kids wound up spending too much time alone at night when I was teaching, and I hated that.

But what really pushed the decision for me was Olivia's report card, which came home in her backpack yesterday.

She is just not keeping up with where she needs to be in school, and she is going to need some really intensive work at home to help her catch up. I have already been working with her a lot, but when I was teaching that is one of the things that got pushed to the side.

I am feeling like the time to tackle this problem, whatever it is, is right now. If we don't figure this out now, it is going to be much harder to help her in a year or two.

So that is where it stands.

I'm not teaching. And I may not make it France next year.

But I sure am going to try and learn what it is my girl needs to succeed in school this year.

She is plenty smart, and has come a long way since August. Just not far enough, and not fast enough, and  I don't know why.

So, we will figure her out first, and worry about France later.

Besides, it was a math class, and I was SO not excited to teach a 4 hour long math class twice a week.  I'm not sure I would have been able to stay awake that long, let alone capture and hold  the attention of 20 other people.

I'm pretty sure this pit in my stomach will go away pretty soon.   It's all about priorities, right?