Hey, it's me, Buck, the top kitty around here.. Listen, don't tell PETA or anything, but my family has been doing unethical experiments on poor helpless cats, namely me! I was just sitting around minding my own business tonight when I got this funny feeling that something was about to happen. Everybody was excited about something in the kitchen. It was a really weird vibe, man.
Then, I caught a whiff of something delicious. It was POPCORN, my favorite food in the whole world, next to Cheetos, which I don't get very often. Sitting on someone's lap, being sociable and cute, is all totally worth it, as long as POPCORN is involved!
Whatever was going on, at first I thought it wasn't going to be so bad. They let me lay back on the couch while they fed me as much popcorn as I wanted. Usually I have to reach out and try to grab it away from them with my paws. I will even use my claws if necessary, but this time they were giving it to me! I thought I was in heaven....
After a while, I started to not feel so great. Who knew that popcorn could fill you up so fast? But they kept it coming, and I kept eating. What? I couldn't resist. It was movie theater butter, my favorite.
I'm not usually such a glutton, or such a messy eater. And I don't usually display all of my private kitty parts quite so blatantly. I'm not sure I even knew they were taking pictures during this part. Things started to get kind of fuzzy around this point. I think all that sodium may have affected my tiny little brain.
At this point, I knew I had been taken advantage of, and I hate myself for it. Turns out they were doing a science experiment on me. Somebody's science fair is next week, and they got a little desperate for a project. So they used me. Without my permission. Without informing me of the risks and/or benefits. Without even telling me what they would be subjecting me to. I swear, I should report them to somebody. Here I am trying to clean myself up, as well as getting rid of some of the evidence.
I was completely out of it for a while. It took some time for me to get back to my old self. No lasting harm done, I guess, but then, I found out I have to do it all over again tomorrow night, only with caramel corn! My gut hurts just thinking about it. ( I do look pretty good for an old guy though, don't you think?)
What is caramel corn anyway?
Then, I caught a whiff of something delicious. It was POPCORN, my favorite food in the whole world, next to Cheetos, which I don't get very often. Sitting on someone's lap, being sociable and cute, is all totally worth it, as long as POPCORN is involved!
Whatever was going on, at first I thought it wasn't going to be so bad. They let me lay back on the couch while they fed me as much popcorn as I wanted. Usually I have to reach out and try to grab it away from them with my paws. I will even use my claws if necessary, but this time they were giving it to me! I thought I was in heaven....
After a while, I started to not feel so great. Who knew that popcorn could fill you up so fast? But they kept it coming, and I kept eating. What? I couldn't resist. It was movie theater butter, my favorite.
I'm not usually such a glutton, or such a messy eater. And I don't usually display all of my private kitty parts quite so blatantly. I'm not sure I even knew they were taking pictures during this part. Things started to get kind of fuzzy around this point. I think all that sodium may have affected my tiny little brain.
At this point, I knew I had been taken advantage of, and I hate myself for it. Turns out they were doing a science experiment on me. Somebody's science fair is next week, and they got a little desperate for a project. So they used me. Without my permission. Without informing me of the risks and/or benefits. Without even telling me what they would be subjecting me to. I swear, I should report them to somebody. Here I am trying to clean myself up, as well as getting rid of some of the evidence.
I was completely out of it for a while. It took some time for me to get back to my old self. No lasting harm done, I guess, but then, I found out I have to do it all over again tomorrow night, only with caramel corn! My gut hurts just thinking about it. ( I do look pretty good for an old guy though, don't you think?)
What is caramel corn anyway?
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