The Jackpot

On Monday, the longest day of the year, we buried my mom's little brother, my uncle Reed. I haven't seen much of Reed in the past couple of decades, maybe a couple of times a year, once at the family reunion, and maybe one more time somewhere along the way. But when I was kid, a good part of my summers revolved around activities with Reed's family. His kids were some of my closest cousins, and I would spend a week or so with them every summer. Our families would go boating together, and there was always the fourth of July bash at Reed's house, a tradition that started in his home behind Lagoon. They had a beautiful backyard deck with a great view of the Lagoon fireworks. Later on, they moved to a home with an in ground swimming pool in the backyard. Those were some good days.

At the funeral, a few of Reed's friends mentioned that he always told them that when it came to his family, he had really hit the jackpot. I can remember him too, at every family reunion, looking around at everybody and saying, "Boy, when I was born into this family, I really hit the jackpot!" He felt like the luckiest guy on earth to be born into the family of Don and LaVon Paulson. He had an idyllic childhood growing up in Sugarhouse in the 40's and 50's, with a hardworking, fun-loving father and a devoted and doting stay-at-home mom. This family didn't just love each other, they really liked each other too. When I came along, one of a passel of grandchildren, it was an accepted fact of life that family meant people who loved each other, supported and respected each other, and had a lot of fun together. That is the family culture I grew up in, and for most of my life I just assumed that is how all families were. Sure, nobody was perfect, and the Paulsons have had their fair share of sadness and stupidity. But they were always there for each other. In today's terms, they would be described as a very functional family. I was lucky and naive enough to be a full grown adult before I realized that lots of families don't work this well.

Watching my family at the funeral, I saw a pretty varied bunch. Grandma and Grandpa are gone, the original five kids have morphed into a huge group of in-laws, out-laws, grandkids, spouses, great grandkids, step great grandkids, Mormons, ex-Mormons, non- Mormons, you name it, and we have it. Maybe not all of us are as functional as we once were. Some of us are getting old. Some of us are losing our minds, or our hair or our hearing. But when I look around at that group, I still feel like we hit the jackpot. If you are from the Don and LaVon Paulson crew, you are one lucky duck. Because the Paulsons will stick with you. They will feed you, (hoo-boy will they feed you!) love you, dance at your wedding, tend your kids, loan you their truck and cry at your funeral. It's really hard to put into words the feelings I have for all those Paulsons. I probably won't see some of them again for a few years. But they're family, and we are part of each other, for better or worse. We are lucky to be in this thing together. I can only hope to continue the tradition, so that one day my kids will feel like they hit the jackpot too.