The middle school science fair is coming up next week, which reminded me that my fridge is in desperate need of a clean out. But just as I was pulling the lid off the first moldy food container, I suddenly remembered that I have not yet written my Twilight book review that I have been promising to a few of my faithful peeps. That seemed much higher on my list of prioritites than my stupid fridge, so here I am.
Yes, I finally finished the fourth book.
***SPOILER ALERT*** I'm pretty sure that I am the last person in North America to finish this series, but if for some strange reason someone is just now crawling out of a hole, and has not yet finished the series, and cares not to know what happens, read no further, because I will ruin the ending for you.
***And a WARNING*** If my opinion of this book will ruin our friendship, please stop reading. I do not mean to offend.
All that being said, I will start with the positives.
I kept reading. I read all four books, cover to cover. I will say there is something about the story that compels you to keep reading. Maybe because it is an unusual premise, or maybe because I really could not predict how it was going to end until well into the fourth book.
The part of the story where Bella finally, um, converts, was good. I thought that part was really well written, and very interesting, to learn how differently the world looked and felt to her at that point.
Other than those two high points,
THIS WAS THE STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER READ.
So on to the low points, and there are many:
-The ending sucks. All the bad vampires come to fight to the finish, but they are scared off by baby vampire Bella and her amazing super powers, and decide to just leave? So you get all geared up for some dramatic action, and it just fizzles. Boring.
-Every book is the SAME THING. Bella is miserable. Bella is happy. Bella goes on for page after page after page about how much she loves this cold, hard, pale vampire, and how beautiful he is. There is a problem. Bad vampires are involved. Bella is miserable again.Problem is solved. Bella is happy.
- I just couldn't stand Bella. She was so whiny and weak and wishy washy, and mostly stupid. How many times can you miss the obvious? And what is so appealing about cold, hard and pale? Any sane, red blooded American girl would have fallen for Jacob in a heart beat.
-Edward was a big jerk much of the time, and he was mean and bossy and frequently hurt her, and she just put up with it because she loved him. Bad message to send to impressionable 14 year old girls if you ask me.
-Renesmee???? I am counting the days until I hear about some poor little girl somewhere, probably in Utah, who gets cursed with that name by some Twilight-freak mother. It will happen. Just the other day, I came across a little guy named Anakin.
I wonder if vampires are affected by witchcraft. Because in my little fantasy world, my boy Harry and his gang would curse the Cullen coven clear to Transylvania.
So my dirty little secret is out. I realize I am in the minority here. But I just don't get it.
Please don't get me started on the movie. I really don't want to relive the agony of those hours.
But I still love you.
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3 comments:
Toldja!
It's okay that you didn't like the books and hated the movie. I liked the books but not the movie myself. I thought they did a crap job on it and if you had never read the book you may have been left wondering what all the hubbub was about. I only have one comment to make.....I think that you were giving Bella too much credit in thinking that she should act more mature. She is a teen and her annoying ways were really just teen-like behaviour. I am sure you are lucky that you have never witnessed that with Alisa but teens are moody, whiney people who get obsessed with people or things with no rational reasons or without thinking through logic a lot of time.
Oh, Lynne I am so with you on this one. Point by point you discussed all the things that drove me crazy about these books. But just like you, I read them all. I probably liked Twilight the most, but found the last one so disappointing. Why did it have to be so long? I think most books over five hundred pages would be much better being 300 pages or less. Most that is. Renesmee...hmmmm...we're getting pretty desperate for baby names around here. Just might work.
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