Her dance recital day did not turn out at all as I had planned it. That shouldn't come as such a shock. Does anything ever turn out the way we plan it? Some things turn out better. Some things, not so much.
She and I looked forward to this day for months. She was so excited to get her costume, and she worked so hard to learn her little routine. They performed on a great big stage in a great big auditorium at Weber State. The place was packed. There must have been 2000 people there. The whole recital was absolutely adorable. Little tiny two year olds in tutus, tough little boys doing tumbling routines, and scads of beautiful little kids just doing their thing on that big stage. Olivia was front and center during her dance, and of course she did a great job and looked so dang cute. I would not have missed it for anything.
Trouble is, I did almost miss it. It was the world's worst day, and it was all my stupid tooth's fault.
I was in mortal pain from a toothache that I had had for a week. We are talking throbbing, take-over-your-life pain. Without pain meds, it was unbearable. The first chance I had to get in to my dentist was the day of the recital. We had to be at WSU at ten in the morning, in full costume and hair for pictures and rehearsal, but my dentist appointment was at 2:30, and we didn't have to be back to the dance recital until 6:30. I figured I would have plenty of time to get to the dentist, stop and pick up some post-performance flowers for Olivia, and still have time to get her fixed up and feeling beautiful, AND drop Audrey off at her play rehearsal on our way.
My first inclination that things were unraveling was around 10:30 that morning, when I began to realize that NOBODY else in my family was coming to this recital. I was going to be her only fan in attendance. This made me really sad. Olivia has been dragged to her older siblings various shows, concerts and performances her whole life. We always make a big deal out of these things, with all sorts of relatives there to help cheer our kids on. I had just assumed hers would be the same. No matter though. I was going to make the best out of it. If nobody else was going to come, I was going to make certain that Olivia didn't feel bad about it. We would have the best mommy-daughter date ever. We got her a special good-luck dancing doll, and made plans for a mom and daughter dinner afterwards.
All dressed up for the morning rehearsal and pictures!!
After the morning rehearsal, she changed her clothes and had some lunch. I left for the dentist around 1:30, when their office called and said they could fit me in a little early. The dentist got right in there, and said it was a simple little root canal on a tooth that was already waiting for a crown, so it shouldn't be any big deal.
At the rehearsal, and getting some important last minute instructions from her teacher
FOUR HOURS LATER AT 6:05 PM, I finally left the dentist office. I was in terrible pain, woozy in the head from being on nitrous for four hours, and crazy with worry that Olivia was about to miss the event she had looked forward to and worked toward for the past nine months. About five o'clock, when I woke up enough to realize it was getting really late, I started texting Audrey to tell her to start getting Olivia ready and to do her best to help her with her hair and make-up. I texted Mitch to see if he could get Audrey to her play rehearsal since I was not going to have time. My phone kept ringing and ringing, but I couldn't answer it. The dentist kept telling me he was almost finished, but every unforeseen complication possible kept popping up. I will spare you the gruesome details, but it was painful. So painful. Have you ever been in serious pain while on nitrous oxide? I couldn't really feel the pain, but it was like every nerve in my body knew that something terrible was happening. It was in full-on fight or flight syndrome. My body was pretty much screaming at me to get the he** out of there. My brain was telling me that if I didn't leave soon, my little girl was going to be one sad chickie. At many points, I considered calling somebody, anybody for some help to get her there, but who? There was no one else coming. And how? My mouth was full of dental equipment, and I couldn't feel my tongue.
When I finally got out of the chair, it took me a few minutes before I could stand up. My gums were swollen and hurting. I was so tired. Four hours is too long to sit in a dentist chair. Four hours is too long to be on the happy air. I used to really like the happy air, but no more. I thought at one point that my brain must have been permanently maimed, because there was this terrible buzzing in my head that wouldn't go away. As soon as they turned off the air, of course, blessedly, it went away. The dentist kept apologizing over and over and trying to explain to me what had happened. The office lady wanted to discuss billing. I thought about telling all of them how much I didn't like them just then. Instead, I croaked (it was all I could do) something at them about needing to get out of there, and stumbled out the door.
I beat it home, threw Olivia in the car (thanks to Audrey, she was dressed and looked mostly presentable), and we fired it up to the auditorium. I was only about 2/3 conscious at this point, definitely should not have been driving, and I was absolutely furious that I was having to do all of this alone. I was furious that I had missed out on getting to do Livvi's hair and make up, and make her feel really special. I was furious at every person in my life who was not there with me at that moment and, in my opinion, should have been. By some miracle, we arrived safely 20 minutes late, but since the recital didn't start til seven, she was still okay on time. We found her group and got her settled. I gave her a big kiss and told her to listen for me cheering for her. I found a lone seat in the middle of crowds of happy families, and finally had a moment to swallow down a Lortab and some ibuprofen. It was then that I realized I had no water. I could have gotten up and found a drinking fountain or something, but I was so beaten down and desperate at that point, I just swallowed the pills dry. I had a few moments where I seriously thought I was going to crack.
That was the low point. Pretty soon, the lights went down and the show started. The meds kicked in, and I started to feel better. The whole recital was wonderful. My little girl danced her heart out and had a blast. Afterwards we took pictures outside in the warm summer night. Then we went to McDonalds. Being my social Olivia, of course she met up with a little friend from school who, unbeknownst to us, was also in the recital. They had a grand time playing together, and then Olivia charmed the nice McDonald's clerk out of an extra Happy Meal toy. Yes, she broke the family ban of fast food. But I think she was entitled to a treat. I did not break the ban on fast food. I couldn't have, even if I had wanted to. Believe me, eating was the last thing on my mind. I could barely get around my chocolate milk.
We got out of McDonalds around ten, then we stopped by Walgreens for the steroids I should have started right after my appointment. Steroids are wonderful. By the time we got home, I was feeling much better. I was still mad though, and I stayed mad for a long time. In fact, I probably should not have dredged it all up, because now I am mad all over again. Or maybe just sad. Hard to tell sometimes. I just have to keep reminding myself that the goal that evening was a happy Olivia with a happy memory of her dance, and her little moment in the spotlight. And if that was the goal, then Mission Accomplished. All is well.
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