Grimm

We have a houseguest this weekend.

 His name is Grimm.  He is a rat. 

Audrey is rat sitting for a friend of hers.  I am pretty certain the rat would have been perfectly fine to spend a weekend at home alone.  Maybe would even have enjoyed the time to himself.  But he has a very overprotective mommy who could not possibly have enjoyed a weekend away with her family knowing that her rat was home all alone.  And Audrey is in love with the rat.  All the  kids love him. Even Mitch is entranced.  Grimm leaves Monday morning, and I can see the begging and conniving coming my way already, so let me just be very clear here:

 WE ARE NOT GETTING A RAT. 

We are not getting any kind of rodent.  Or reptile. Or amphibian. Or anything that breathes or eats or sheds anything.

That includes houseplants.

And so, dear offspring, if you read this and you still don't get it, I beg you: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.  And don't even ask.