Duncan at 17

Okay, so I know  it's all hackneyed and trite and such to say this, but holy crap, WHERE did 17 years go, and HOW did my little cape-wearing, Toy Story- loving little tow head turn into this lanky boy with hairy legs and stubble on his chin?

I've been thinking a lot about Duncan lately because we have been devising a plan.  At 17, you need to have a plan. When Harry Potter was 17, he was out hunting down and killing the most evil wizard the world has ever seen.  And he didn't just stumble blindly into that mess.  He had a PLAN.  A vague, ever evolving plan maybe, but a plan still the same  Now as far as I know, Duncan doesn't have to go out and kill any wizards, but he still needs a plan. I have had some scary nightmares of a not-so lanky-anymore-but-rather-overweight 30 year old, spending his days in my basement playing video games, surviving on Lucky Charms and root beer. Because let's be honest, without some serious intervention, that is a very real and very likely outcome, and one that I absolutely do not want to see happen.  That is NOT a plan.

Honestly, I don't have a plan.  I don't even have a clue.

But other people do, and they put on a disability fair And no, you smart-a**, a disability fair does not involve  pinning a blue ribbon on the kid with the worst dyslexia.  It was wonderful, and packed with information booths and people who have dedicated their lives to making sure that Duncan and his cohorts do not wind up living out  my worst nightmares.  I got some good advice, and found a mom's group to join, and talked to a lot of people who are in the same boat as us.  And even though I still don't have a plan, at least I have a place to start.

The best part of all this is that in spite of my inept cluelessness about what comes next for him,  Duncan has his own plans.  He wants to serve a mission.  He wants to learn more about designing video games. He wants to go to college.  He looks forward to having a job and his own apartment someday.

Who knows what the next 17 or so years holds for my sweet boy?   Will he be able to  function in the so called real world?  Will he be able to move out and live on his own?   Will he be successful at something? I know I've said it before, but never very well- Duncan has gifts and strengths that most of us don't.   He is honest. He is without guile. He is generous and kind. He doesn't judge. It is easy to overlook the magnitude of his spirit because he is so quiet and unassuming.   I don't know what his successes will look like on the outside, but I do know that he has already succeeded in ways that some of us never will.