late night chats with me

Me: What am I doing? Why I am sitting here at one in the morning, fighting with this stupid pile of slippery fabric and this half-functional sewing machine?

Myself: Hey, making a Halloween costume for Olivia wasn't my idea. You have no one to blame but yourself.

Me: Oh shut up. I didn't hear you trying too hard to talk me out of it.

Myself: Well, the whole Alice in Wonderland thing was your idea in the first place.

Me: I didn't think she would jump on it like she did. And how was I to know the Alice costumes in the store would be so trashy looking?

Myself: You should have just convinced her to be something else.

Me: Yeah, well you know how she is. Besides, I didn't hear you trying too hard to change her mind.

Myself: Hey, don't pin this on me. This is all your doing.

Me: Just shut up and help me figure out how to fix this dumb machine. Where does this thing go?

Myself: I haven't sewed anything in years. I'm not going to be too good at this.

Me: I know. This is going to take some serious amounts of caffeine.

Myself: We could just order that one we saw online.

Me: That $50.00 one? That one was way cute. But that's too much money.

Myself: Nobody would ever know how much you spent on it.

Me: Yeah, but add what we already spent on fabric, and that is one pricey Halloween costume.

Myself: What is your sanity worth?

Me: (ponders for a moment) Maybe I'll order it in the morning if this thing doesn't come together well. If I can just get this machine working right....

Myself: Why is the fabric puckering like that? I don't think that looks right.

Me: It's this stupid machine!

Myself: Are you sure it's the machine and not the operator?

Me: You think you can do any better?

Myself: I KNOW I can't do better! That's why I was against this idea from the beginning!

Me: You are such a liar.You were the one trying to convince Audrey to be the Cheshire Cat. If it was left up to you, I'd be sitting her trying to sew strips of fur together into a cat shape.

Myself: Well she didn't go for it anyway, did she? And I seem to recall that it was you trying to talk Will into being the White Rabbit. Then you got them all excited when you said that you were going to dress up as the Queen of Hearts. Are you going to whip out that costume on this old machine too?

Me: I think we're in a big enough mess as it is. Why is it always you getting us into trouble, and me having to get us out?

Myself: I've had enough of this abuse. I'm going to bed.